Six months later I didn't have a job; I had lost everything that my daughter and I owned; I lost two of our three dogs and three cats, was broke, and found myself sitting on the floor of a new apartment with no furniture, no food in the fridge, a phone and my computer. (Please pardon the run-on sentences, I did it to make an impact)
Anyway, I'm sitting on the
floor praying to God. I explained to God that I felt that my initial awakening
was complete, that I was ready to get on with what it was that I was to be doing.
I also explained that besides continuing with the growth process I would have
to spend time earning a living to provide for my daughter and myself. So if God
wanted me to continue growing at a high rate of speed, then He would have to provide
for me a job that would allow this growth. You see, I turned it all over. It could
be a job that had few hours but lots of money, or it could be something that I
could not, at that time, even think of.
Within the hour my daughter called me and told me that her new friend's mother wanted to meet me. She had heard from my daughter, that I was into Astrology. She was also into Astrology and wanted to talk. She was inviting us to dinner. Could we go? I thanked God for providing food for the evening and said, "Yes." Since I didn't have a car at the time, her husband would come and pick me up and take us to the restaurant. I must admit that when my daughter told me that we were being taken to the biggest smorgasbord in Salt Lake City, I made sure that I took along my biggest purse, just in case I had a chance to bring something home for later.
When we arrived at the restaurant we were led to a long table with twelve people already seated. A woman came up to me and told me that her name was Donna; she was my daughter's friend's mother. She also told me that this was like a business dinner and that if I could just be patient we would be able to talk later. Hey, my daughter and I were getting a free meal; I could be patient. So after filling my plate, I sat at the end of the long table, eating my food and watching all of the other people sitting at the table. I remember wondering why all of these people were paying such close attention to the elderly woman sitting at the head of the table. I also noticed that the people sitting with me at the table were from various places. Later I found out there were people from Canada, Australia, Germany, and I think some from Japan and the Netherlands. There was also a woman there from Colorado. Since I was sitting a straight shot down the table from the older woman, I would look up occasionally and find her looking at me funny. When she would catch my eye she would shake her head, frown a little and look away.
At the end of the meal Donna told me that she would have to take her mother home and then she would meet me at her house, if I didn't mind her husband taking me there. It seems that all of the people sitting there also went to Donna's house after dinner. By the time Donna arrived, I was sitting in the living room watching these people as they sat on the floor in a circle rubbing each others shoulders and backs. They had asked me if I wanted to join in, but I declined. Donna told me that I could wait in the dining room while she said goodbye to all of her guests.
I sat in the dining room talking to her husband for about two hours while Donna did what she had to do. During this time her husband asked me if I believed in what all these other people believed in. I asked him what that was. His answer was something to the effect of: "Oh, you know, flying saucers and that kind of thing." So I told him that I believed in UFO's and aliens. He kind of grunted and excused himself and went off downstairs.
When all of the people had left, Donna came into the dining room, lit a cigarette and let out a big sigh. So me being the shy person that I am (HA!) I proceeded to ask her: who are all of those people, why were they hanging on every word that her mother said, and who exactly was her mother, was she famous or something?
Her mother's name was Thelma Terrell. She had gone through a walk-in experience and became Tuella. She channeled the Ashtar Command, and wrote some books about those channelings. Tuella had a vast following world-wide and these were some of the people that were a part of spreading her channeled messages.
I HAD heard of the Ashtar Command, in fact, I had heard that term just four months
before, at the fire walk. I remembered getting what I called God Bumps when I
heard the name. I recalled that the person that told me about the Command had
also told me that a woman brought through their messages and that she lived in
Donna told me that Tuella had just moved to Salt Lake about a year before from Durango. So at least it was the right person. I asked Donna what books her mother had written, thinking that I may have read one of them and not known. Donna cited a list of book titles, none of which rang any bells for me. She asked if I would like to see the office. We went downstairs and into a room that had shelves from the ceiling to half-down the wall on two of the long walls, with books covering the shelves. There were two desks and a long table. Donna took a book off of one of the shelves and handed it to me. When I looked at the cover of the book I got dizzy and fell back. Luckily I landed in a chair. I don't know what I looked like to her, but I was crying so bad that it took a few minutes for me to realize that she had pulled up a chair and was sitting in front of me. She asked me why I was crying. I told her that the cover of the book was my dream. I explained that I had a recurring dream about once a month for as long as I could remember. In fact it was the dream that had gotten me kicked out of Sunday School.
It was the cover of Project: World Evacuation, the picture showing a ship in the sky with the beam coming out of the bottom of it, with people floating up into the bottom of the ship in the beam and one person on a rooftop flying up into the craft without the assist from the beam. I told Donna that I was that person, but in my dream I was standing on a sidewalk with other people and all I had to do was lift my arms out to my sides and I would fly up into the craft from an opening in the side of the ship.
[In 1996 I was taken
onboard one evening and I found myself in what I refer to as the map room. A tall
gray, an elder, was standing at a window and asked me to "Watch." As
I stood watching, the ship I was in was going further away from the planet. The
entire West Coast of the U.S. went totally black; the blackness seemed to be a
signal for tens of thousands of ships to fly down and blanket that region. There
was a multitude of different types of craft. They were flying in close proximity
to each other, and the formation that they seemed to move in was that of a blanket
with very little space between them. At least that's what it looked like from
my viewpoint. The craft I was in moved further away from the planet and I noticed
that the West Coast was NOT the only place where this was happening. This wonderful
experience gave me a view of the evacuation from a different perspective. I was
shown the trial run of the evacuation from above the planet. I am not an artist,
however, I have put together a computer graphic collage of what that view looked
like - to see it click here.]
I told Donna that I had a job inside of the ship. When the people would come in from the beam, they would enter a room filled with what looked to be shower stalls. They would enter into a stall and there their bodies would be made perfect, and when they came out, I would give them a garment to wear. After this was done, I would then go up to the top of the craft in an open area, where I could stand at a railing and watch what was going on down on the surface of the planet. I was never allowed to remember what I saw, but I was allowed to remember that there were beings there walking through the crowd of people watching, and they would comfort them saying things like: "Do not worry; they will not suffer long" or "This was the choice that they made". And I even remember hearing the word Karma for the first time through this dream.
I told Donna that I had always told the preachers that this dream was showing me the Second Coming of Christ. I would also tell them that the ships would come in from the West with the setting sun. This would cause a ruckus, because the Bible said that it would not be from the West. But they could never get me to change my mind.
Donna gave me the book, along with copies of Tuella's other books. Then she looked at her watch and told me that it was getting late and that she would take me home. As we were leaving she asked me if I knew anything about bulk mailing. I told her that I did and so she asked me if I would like to help her with one the following day. I told her "Sure."
The next morning Donna picked me up at the apartment and took me to her house. There in the middle of her living room floor were boxes of newsletters, stacks of labels, mailbags and all of the other assorted paraphernalia needed for bulk mailing. I got started. Donna told me that she needed to go to her mother's house and that she would be back.
Five hours later Donna gets back and informs me that her mother had talked to Ashtar and was told that I was to work in the office. I had a job! Donna had recently had to replace the hard drive of the office computer, and had lost the mail list on the computer. She told me that there were 120,000 members on the Guardian Action International mail list and an additional mail list of almost 500,000 of inquiries and bookstores. Both of these lists had to be reentered into the system. There was no need for negotiations - the pay was perfect and so was the job.
Tuella never came to the office while it was in Donna's house. I would go to Tuella's house a couple of times a week for correspondence purposes and to help her in her personal office. My duties in the G.A.I. office were correspondence, shipping, filling orders, editing, and of course inputting the mail lists into the computer.
two years I had the most perfect job on the planet. I loved going to work! Every
morning Donna and I would sit on the floor back-to-back and do a meditation. This
would align our energies for the day's work. Tuella was a generous employer. She
believed that each of us was vital to the workings of the Ashtar Command and Guardian
Action International. We received donations in the office on a daily basis, and
at least two times a week the donations were sent in cash. The office procedure
for cash donations was: as soon as I opened an envelope with cash I would give
it to the next person on rotation. You see, Tuella felt that cash gifts were to
be shared as a bonus between Tuella, Donna and myself. The forces that be would
choose how much we received. Sometimes the donation would be $5.00 and sometimes
it would be $600.00. There were times that the money would be in foreign funds
and we would not have any idea how much it would be until we exchanged it at the
bank. Before working in the office I never dreamed that people would send cash
money through the mail! The only person that had done that for me before was my
grandmother and it would only be $1.00. We had one woman that would send tithing
to the office once a month and she would wrap the cash in carbon paper with the
copy side out. She would write in the letter that if anyone stole the money out
of the envelope then at least we would have his or her fingerprints. Some people
would wrap the cash in foil or foil wrapping paper.
Another bonus that we received in the office was local bookstore orders. Tuella felt that she had enough books in her library, but she wanted Donna and me to learn as much as we could. So whenever we received a book order from a local bookstore, Donna and I would take turns as to who that order belonged to. When we delivered the order, we would take the amount of the order out in trade. Sometimes it would be $30.00 and sometimes it would be $300.00. So I had a job that paid well, got cash bonuses at least twice a month and received free metaphysical books.
You know, for years I told myself that I could not channel. I felt that I was too logical; it would be impossible for me to do. It was not until several years ago that a friend of mine was listening to my experiences with working in the G.A.I. office, that she had me actually listen to the story that I was telling. She pointed out to me that what I was telling her was experiences of me channeling. It was hard for me to put myself in that position, but you tell me.
I would answer correspondence that came into the office for Ashtar, Soltec, Monka and others of the Command. The way that I did this was: I would open the letter and put my right hand on the large generator crystal that sat on my desk. I would then read the letter out loud, while resting my left hand on the computer keyboard. Within minutes there would be a letter on the screen. I would then print it up and mail it. My friend pointed out to me that this was a form of automatic writing. Being the Virgo that I am, I have since tried numerous times to type with only my left hand. It doesn't work.
It is hard to explain to you now, how it was working in the office and how natural it seemed to me at the time. It was like I walked into another space and time, but still thought of things that happened there as if it were perfectly third-dimensional. Take into consideration that I had just gone through the awakening process; I was still an extremely left-brained Virgo. I had friends at that time that would look at me funny when I would tell them about my job. They were my friends, so naturally they did not accuse me of being completely off my rocker, at least not to my face. It was not until years later, when some of them had by then gone through their own awakening, that they would tell me that they wished that they had talked to me more about my experiences there. They feel now that they themselves could have grown faster by helping me realize what it was that I was truly going through within that office space. Please forgive me if some of this sounds outrageous, I sometimes look back at these memories and wonder what it was that was actually happening to me there.
Remember when I told you that at the dinner Tuella kept looking at me with a strange look? The first time that I went to Tuella's house to help in her office, numerous times I would catch her looking at me. Then she would shake her head and say something like, "No, it's not that." After hearing her saying this about 20 times, I heard her say, "Yes, that's it". She jumped up and left the room. A few minutes later she came back carrying a picture in an oval frame. She told me that she finally knew where she knew me from. She handed me the picture to show me. The picture was of a woman sitting on a large chair and there were three men standing behind her. The men were dressed in peculiar clothing.
Tuella then explained to me that Ashtar had told her that I was a walk-in. She also told me that my soul had never had an Earth experience before. Therefore, I was given fragments of other souls that would guide me in being able to exist on this planet. She also told me that I reminded her of someone and that someone was the woman in the picture. I must carry a large portion of this woman's energy. I asked who the woman was. Tuella looked at me as if I were insane and said something like, "This is H.P.B." This made no sense to me, but I didn't want to look like I was stupid, so I asked who the men were. Without my knowing it at the time, this really made me look uninformed. She then pointed out to me that it was Kuthumi, St. Germaine and El Morya. She told me to take the photo back to the office with me and hang it over my desk, that way she would know that Madame would make sure that I would work to my fullest potential.
When I got back to the office I showed the picture to Donna. She was surprised that Tuella had sent the picture with me. Apparently the picture was one of Tuella's prized possessions. After telling Donna what Tuella had told me when she handed the picture to me, Donna took a look at me and said something like, "Yes, I can see the resemblance now." She went upstairs and came back a few minutes later with a couple of books. In these books were a couple of other pictures of the woman that Donna explained to me was Helena Blavatsky. Frankly, I could not see the resemblance, but Donna told me that it was my eyes.
I will take a moment now to tell those of you that have never met me before, I do have very unusual eyes. All my life I have always received comments from people that have just met me or even people that would pass me by on the street. I heard everything from: you really have evil looking eyes, what unusual eyes you have, those have got to be contacts right?
Then Donna got a very strange look and ran upstairs again. She came back down with a dark blue paperback book called Esoteric Astrology. She looked through it for a few minutes and found what she was looking for and began reading it to me. She was reading information that I told her about when we first began talking about astrology. I had told her that I believed that there were more than two twin signs. I had also told her that I did not understand how other people did astrology. When my charts came to me, I did not have to figure out mathematical equations. I had told her that I felt that it was intuitive astrology, because I couldn't think of anything else to call it. There were other things that I had gotten about astrology that I had told Donna, but I had no reference to back it up with. This book that Donna was reading verified all of the strange ideas that we had talked about. She told me that Alice Bailey, the author of the book, was talking about ideas that Blavatsky had come up with.
I worked in the Guardian Action International office for two years. Then Tuella went into full retirement and closed the office. Shortly after the offices closed Tuella moved back to Colorado. Donna and her family moved to Pennsylvania. My daughter and I moved to Missouri. Shortly after moving to Missouri, I remembered having a "dream" where I was talking to Ashtar himself and was telling him that I needed to focus on raising my daughter for awhile and that I couldn't work with him. He told me, in the "dream", that it was all right with him and that he would let me know when it was time for us to work together again.
Then early in 1994 I was in a used book store and found a book published by Reader's Digest called UFO's the Continuing Enigma. In this book was a picture of Tuella and the Ashtar Command logo. I called Donna in Pennsylvania to ask her if Tuella knew of this book. That was when I found out that Tuella's health had deteriorated and she had to move back in with Donna and her family. Tuella hadn't seen the book, so I mailed it to her.
Then the first week of October of that same year, Donna called me and told me that Tuella had passed away the last week in September. She also informed me that Tuella had left me some things. I really didn't think it would be much, so I told Donna to put it in the mail for me. I didn't hear any more from Donna. I didn't receive any mail from her either. Then right before Christmas, Donna called me. She told me that she was moving back to Salt Lake City, and that she wanted to swing down to see me. I told her to come on down.
What happened to Donna and me during the five days that she was in town will be another story. She did bring to me the things that Tuella had left for me. I received: the backdrop that Tuella used during her lectures, the picture of Blavatsky with the Ascended Masters, Blavatsky's book "The Key To Theosophy", several cases of her books, her audio-taped series of Ascended Master tapes, and the masters of Tuella's video lectures along with the Yucatan video.
Donna told me that I would also have permission to copy the two books World Messages For The Coming Decade and The Secrets Of The Father's Little Book. She also told me that she would send Tuella's mailing lists to me, but I never received those. When we parted company, we were intending to get together that June and travel to Mexico to stay with Miranda Lourdes. Donna and I were going to write Tuella's screenplay. Donna had the notes and I had talked to Tuella extensively about the screenplay.
I have not seen nor talked to Donna since January 2, 1995. I have kept all of the things that Donna brought to me. I just didn't think of what to do with them. After a couple of years, I didn't think of them at all. In July of 1998 I moved to Sedona, Arizona. Then in November of 1998, here in the Village of Oak Creek, I met Jean-Michel (Captain Lyur) at the Star Knowledge Conference. In talking to the people at the Conference and Jean-Michel, I found out that past members of Guardian Action International had been wondering if Tuella were even still alive. If she had passed, they wanted to know how to access her materials. That was when I knew that it was time for me to begin working with Ashtar and the Command again.
asked God to find me a house with an office and someone to share expenses with.
By January 15th I was living in a beautiful house with a HUGE office, and a roommate
to share expenses with. By February 1st I met Janisel, who had driven up to Sedona
from El Paso, just to meet me. By April 24th Janisel was living in the house,
and my website G.A.I. (for Guardian Activation International) was online. Shortly
afterwards our new website for Ashtar's Trinity was also up and running. Then
by March of 2001 we became the Church of Sananda's Eagles.
Now you may be wondering how all of this ties into being an experiencer. Well here is my answer to that: When you KNOW that you are here doing the work that you are meant to do, whether you are working with beings from off this planet or whether you are working for the good of the planet and mankind you ARE experiencing your path, your destiny. And when you are experiencing your path, your destiny, you WILL know it because everything around you begins to fall into place right before your eyes. Things happen, because they are meant to happen. You meet people because you are meant to meet those people. Your work lays itself out in front of you, because it is your work, your destiny.